by Blanche Elizabeth Wade.
Originally published in Harper's Monthly Magazine (Harper & Brothers) vol.116 #692 (Jan 1908).
A farmer who was up to-date,
In tones of glee once said:
"I shall not bank my celery;
I'll Bur-bank it instead."
You should have seen the crop he raised!
Most celery just stalks,
But his could run, and leap, and jump
About the garden walks.
Nor with it could a person find
The slightest bit of fault:
Among its well-blanched leaves there grew
Salt-cellars full of salt.
The farmer who was up-to-date,
In tones of glee then said:
"I shall not bank my house this year,
I'll Bur-bank it instead."
You should have seen what came of that!
Why, in a week or two,
His house had wings with feathers on,
And e'en the chimney flue.
The window sashes all were all tied
In stylish double bows;
The blinds could see quite well because
They took the panes, and chose.
The farmer who was up-to-date,
In tones of glee then said:
"I shall not bank my money now;
I'll Bur-bank it instead."
You should have seen what happened then!
With interest it grew;
You have to draw most money, but
His painted, sketched, and drew.
He never had to raise it, for
It raised itself, you see;
It sprouted one fine pension and
A large annuity.
And so the farmer up-to-date,
In tones of glee then said:
“When you desire to bank a thing,
Just Bur-bank it instead.”