by R.H.H. [Richard Henry Horne].
Originally published in Douglas Jerrold's Shilling Magazine (Punch) vol.2 #11 (Nov 1845).
"Such were the last words of one, universally respected, whose memory will ever be cherished by his inconsolable relations."
A rich man dying call'd his son,
To hear his last advice:
Whispering he spake his sight was gone—
His feet were cold as ice!
"Beware of evil spendthrift ways,
And wasteful company;
Be wise and frugal all your days,
If you would virtuous be.
"Opinions current in the world
Adopt with deep respect,
New-fangled thoughts and things, at once,
My prudent son, reject.
"O'er word and deed keep constant guard,
Your bright side let men see;
Society lays down certain rules
For all morality.
"Be your attendance at your church
Constant; your prayer-book, new;
Dress well, and do not fail to choose
A handsome central pew.
"In friendship have a wakeful eye;
Avoid a needy friend:
He's not your friend-something he wants.
Borrow not—neither lend.
"All men in troubled waters, shun,
And all things out of joint;
Good tables seek—and dinners give,
As your best interests point.
"If any woman you have wrong'd—
Vice causes sad expense—
Have fortitude—oh, fly from vice—
Leave her to Providence.
"For marriage in my will you'll find
A safe directing voice,
Where birth and competence combined,
Will bless your father's choice.
"Something I had to say on truth;
Something on honesty;—
My memory fails—but stick to both,
When the best policy.
"Gather my bills up—pay my debts,
And call my credits in;
With all men I would die at peace,
And all good memories win.
"One debtor—he is very poor—
A carpenter by trade—
He'll never pay;—so by this man
You'll get my coffin made."