Originally published in The Literary Chronicle and Weekly Review (J. Limbird) vol.1 #25 (06 Nov 1819).
Is a gentleman's follower cheaply purchas'd, for his own money has hired him. Hee is an inferiour creditor of some ten shilling or downwards, contracted for horse-hire, or perchance for drinke, too weake to be put in suite, and he arrests your modesty. Hee is not very expensive of his time, for he will waite upon your staires a whole afternoon; and dance attendance with more patience than a gentleman-usher. Hee is a sore beleaguerer of chambers, and assaultes them sometimes with furious knockes; yet finds strong resistance commonly, and is kept out. Hee is a great complayner of schollers loytering, for he is sure never to find them within, and yet he is the chiefe cause many times that makes them studie. Hee grumbles at the ingratitude of men that shunne him for his kindnesse, but indeed it is his owne fault, for he is too great an upbrayder. No man puts them more to their brain than he; and, by shifting him off, they learn to shift in the world. Some choose theire roomes a-purpose to avoide his surprisals, and thinke the best commodity in them his prospect. Hee is like a rejected acquaintance, hunts those that care not for his company, and he knows it well enough; and yet will not keep away. The sole place to supple him is the buttery, when he takes grievous use upon your name, and he is one much wrought with good beere and retorike. He is a man of most unfortunate voyages; and no gallant walks the streets to less purpose.——From Bishop Earles' Microcosmographia.