by J.R.P.
Originally published in The Literary Chronicle and Weekly Review (J. Limbird) vol.1 #23 (23 Oct 1819).
I scorn to imitate and plagiarise;
But look and draw from nature's rich supplies.
Fanny Lovelace has received an accomplished education, and she has a good fortune in her own right. She is as neat a little figure, hovering round the sithe of two and twenty, as the mould of youth can form, and the beam of beauty irradiate. Coquetish, it is no wonder she has had, and still draws many lounging admirers after her. She has so musical a tongue dwelling within her little white even teeth, that it plays with fine cadences, and every one is charmed with them. Like a rosy bower winding to an elegant mansion, so are her lips. Her eyes are of the rolling kind, and when lit on a languishing young fellow, he seems struck by an electric flash. As a proof that she is attractive, her sex speak of her with sang froid and nonchalance; and when she trips up the assembly-room with her white kids, drawn dalliantly on her polished arms, as the captain serenades her with lighter steps than when he marches at the parade under a morning review, she elicits many whispers, and gives birth to a thousand conjectures. One lady calls her an affected doll, and surveys her with up and-down-scrutiny; another designates her an embroiderer's apprentice; a third is quite positive she is the confectioner's fascinatress; while a fourth affirms her to be a French governess: so much for false discrimination, and conclusions drawn from external appearances. 'Well, I am egregiously surprised at the gallant captain's taste!' Ah! there's no accounting for such unaccountable deviations from the lovely and beautiful! 'Taste surpasses beauty;' aye, there it is! See how she dances! Her feet and figure are as easy and alert as her tongue; her spirits as vivacious as both: she is the bewitching automaton, which, when her charms are in play, although young envy and caprice breathe coldly, gains the favour of those ladies who are more splenetic and advanced beyond the jaundice of love emulations; and she steps into their carriages with the most agreeable freedom. On account of her anti-nervous aperients, and delicious alternatives, she seems essential to prevent a consumption of the spirits, for she produces more laughter by the relation of her adventures, than Abernethy's blue-pill or the Cheltenham salts. Most originals keep their journal, as in the instance of Sir Stephen Thunder, who amused hinself in the literary exercise after dinner, to record, when at Gibraltar, that he dined at the ordinary, And this is Miss Fanny's specimen, which is more various, and, therefore, more deserving:—'Monday,—met the officers at the Horse Guards; exchanged billet doux between Colonel Sash and the Creole Heiress: Opera with Lady Seraphina Squander; was obliged to translate, verbally, all through the representation. Tuesday,—chattering much with Maggy Method, for a plan to be united to parson Eternaltongue: went to the amateur concert, where a country 'squire talked nonsense all the evening, about the Corn Bill, and the method of destroying the slugs from cabbages. Wednesday,—had a fine ride in Lord Hurryscurry's tandem, to the public breakfast. Thursday,—at the play: a noble puppy, apparently just out of his grandma's snuff-box, slipt his card into my glove, ere I left the rotunda. Friday,—at Countess Picnic's select party, where, like swallows before migration, a multitude met and—parted. Saturday,—gave five pounds to an unfortunate family; recorded promises; revised anecdotes; polished tales; burnt love verses: and, in spite of ennui, heartily laughed at human folly. Sunday,—attended mass and resolved—
"To grow wiser and better as life runs away."'
Thus I have given a transcript of our heroine; and, however it may have developed the foibles of social intercourse, there are two noble exertions for which we contribute our mite of praise to Miss Fanny,—for alleviating the sufferings of humanity, and discharging an expensive though laudable education of a beloved orphan, her nephew.